Musings while waiting...

Here's a view of the world from my eyes. It ain't half bad.

Everything around me is falling apart but guess what? I don't really care. FUNNY huh? The freezer doesn't work, the AC / Heater doesn't work, my car leaks oil my truck is acting weird the Van is getting beat up and falling apart and If half of my kids venture into the weeds in my back yard I may never see them again. There are more crickets in my house then in the entire state of California and I haven't been past about 1/2 way in my garage in so long because I can't get past all of the crap. I don't watch TV before 9:30 at night and I never ever go anywhere for fun. I think that the only thing I do is work, drive and do football with Drew and Sky and that's it. I'm ready for a break from all this and just work on other stuff (like my house) but then I'll just get tired of that too. However like I said i don't care because busy people are happy people. Does a clean house, perfect yard/home and other stuff equal happiness? nope.

How can anyone be a house wife? No, seriously. I mean I worked from home and barely got up from my desk twice between 6:30 am and 11:00 am. I went to the fridge to get a drink a couple of times and that's it. Both times I wanted to fix this, pick up that, help with something or do something else. My wife does a great job with our home but it is very overwhelming keeping up with it and I'm part time help at best. I don't know how she doesn't walk out with both middle fingers in the air every night when I get home and come back around 10 at night. Honestly.

When you are a dad life is different. Today a person accused me of being an anti-bachelor. Meaning that I'm the opposite of a bachelor. duh. They said I had a "herd" at home. I prefer "flock" but my wife may agree with herd. I wonder how quite, clean and empty the house would be without our flock. I was home all alone yesterday and it was noticeably quite since I'm very rarely home all alone. I liked it but not totally. It seemed foreign.

Today there was a crash on the freeway. So what, right? well except it made me late for work. See as long as I don't get in a crash I don't care about them until it makes me late for work. Do you ever think about all of the tragedies in the world? I don't. Because I think if you do you'll go crazier then you already are. There are too many to count. Besides what's a tragedy? I think if I get in a car crash that's a tragedy. No matter how minor.

My daughter got a cut on her bum the other week. It was huge so the wife had to get some really big band-aids. Like 4"x6" band-aids. We all knew about her cut because she's 4 and isn't too modest about it. Anyway after it quit hurting it was kinda funny and cute when she'd show us or talk about her bum owey. Next I got hurt a burn on my hand so I asked Sky and Vance if they knew where the Ace-bandage was so I could hold the Ice on my hand. Sky says "what's an Ace-Bandage? Is it the band-aid Mom used for Tawny's Ace?" We all had a good laugh. Well last night I took it a step further. Drew, Vance and I were walking home and Drew asked if I'd rather ride his bike then walk. I said "no I don't want to fall off and get hurt and need an "Ace-Bandage" If I was Stacy I'd say "I'm so funny"

Control; Lose it!

Well today I'm frustrated. I want to control everything. I want to take control, not relinquish it ever, and remain in control. What do I want to control? Myself, others, situations and emotions. See I want to be able to dictate every situation. I want to be able to tell others what to do. I want to quickly fix mistakes and control the situation so the same mistakes aren't going to happen. I want to get in the front of a situation so that I can control the outcome. You know what else would be cool? Rewind buttons. If a situation doesn't work out, just rewind and start again. That would be cool. Ok, ok, I know that one is out there. All of this rambling is. So I think that I have to go to the other extreme. So here's the solution. Control nothing. I think that's the solution. I'll just go along fat dumb and happy. See if you don't worry about controlling things you remain in control of yourself. I shouldn't try to control the outcome of situations because most of the time I'm just going to get frustrated and wish it had gone differently anyway. I think that if I try to control others I'll mostly be disappointed anyway so I'll just stop trying. I'm not quitting I'm just 'letting go'. There's a difference see. It's the difference in allowing myself to try to be in charge to letting others worry about stuff. See we all have a choice. Try to control it or let it go. I'm letting go and man it feels soooo good.

Game Face

Vance's game face!

2007 Hornets pre-season party

These are a few of the boys that I work with each wee! My sons are both there. All these boys are Awesome!

And yet again i say YES!

Well I ran 4 days in a row. That's some kind of record. Today was good. Stacy didn't go with me so I was alone and it is very dark. I went up one way then back down then back again the way I came so it's like running the same street twice. So it's 2.4 mile run. Today was hilarious. I was running along (slowly) like always and as I passed the "white" park I saw a lady walking. She was "speed" walking you know with elbows flying back and forth and barely bending her knees and heel toe heel toe all the way. It looked like she was holding something really small in her crack. It was comical, but yet very fast. It's dark so I'd only see her when she passed under a street lamp. I wasn't catching up very fast I was more like staying 30-50 yards behind her. Pretty soon I could tell that she knew I was behind her. So I thought she might think I am a stocker or something so I crossed to the other side of the street. But her walk was so amusing that I couldn't help but giggle internally every time I saw her. She also was trying to keep her eye on me so every time she'd get a chance she'd look over her shoulder and look at me. That slowed her down I guess because once we go just past the school I had gained on her a lot. We were nearly even I was still watching her though because like I said it was funny to watch her seize as she walked down the road. It was one of those "train wreck" moments where you know you should look away but you can't (like big boobs). Anyway finally I got where it wasn't feasible to watch anymore since I was jogging even with her and by the school it is quite light. So I forced myself to look forward. At that point I did it. I had to I couldn't help it. Yeah I think she'll walk faster tomorrow. I'm just glad I was on the other side of the street. You shouldn't hold those in, it's bad for you. So I didn't. It wasn't silent, but it was deadly.

Fine then I will

Blogging is supposed to be for me. The only reason I do a blog is because Journals are boring. I was a blogger before bloggers were cool Whetten people! (I CAN PROVE IT TOO). You know I'm right. Anyway. I've been busy too. Blogging is low on the priority list. I've been spending too much time annoying football player's parents, getting fatter and offending football officials and coaches to have time to blog (not to mention working). So here's my blog message today: Only blog for yourself. Don't blog because you want to share your life with other people. It's very much less genuine when you do that. See Stace used to send out an email blog of sorts to everyone on her email address list. I loved it. It was for her. She shared with us her life. But now she quit because she was worried about other people thinking "Why does she send this to me?" When she should have been thinking "I love writing emails to these people for myself!" Here's the thing: You aren’t interesting to everyone. No one is, least of all me. So what you do is blog, email, or type whatever for yourself. It's sincere that way. It's real. If you get someone pissed off or laughing at you, awesome, you don't care what they think anyway. This last weekend in conference the best quote (my blog my opionion) was President Hinkley in Priestood quoted a former President of the church when someone wanted to know what to do when they've been slandered in the newspaper. He said (paraphrase), "Half of the people in town don't buy the newspaper, half of the ones that do won't see that article, half of those that see the article won't read it, half of the people who read it won't understand it and half of those who understand it are of no consequence anyway!" So think of your blogs that way. Because, we that love you will enjoy it more because it is the real you... Love ya and Get off of my butt about my blog! It's mine!