Feeling sorry for myself today, Can you tell?
5) Why couldn't I be taller. I wish that I was because then I'd be the same weight and be considered "normal"
4) Why can't I be way smarter so that I could not make so many dumb mistakes. The other day I took a wrong turn and ended up driving around a neighborhood for about 15 minutes. The time consisted of 3 "U" turns, two times back out on the original road and twice I had to stop at a turn and randomly pick which way to go...
3) Why can't I have a better JOB? Mine is good, I get paid well, but I think there are about 10 billion that are better. I've only met like two dudes in the past year whose job I don’t envy.
2) Why do I have so much time in my stupid car... I can say in one word what I wish for two times every day: Teleportation
1) Why don't I WORRY less? I think that I worry too much, Here's my mind as I fall asleep: Did I close the garage, did I brush my teeth long enough? Floss? What are my kids doing? Do they watch too much TV? Are my kids too busy? Did I permanently damage Skylar by yelling at him today? Is the pool dirty? Why did Stacy roll over just now, is she mad at me? I wonder if that bill is due yet? What did I do with my cell phone? Is Vance home yet? I wonder who he hangs out with at HS? Why doesn't he want to hang out with us as much anymore? Is Stacy happy or just too busy to know the difference? What if my tires are flat in the morning? Why is the AC on, that’s expensive? What am I doing tomorrow? Why can’t I remember things as easy anymore? What are the kids doing tomorrow? And it goes on and on....
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Monday, August 21, 2006
5 stupid things I've heard lately
In reverse order
5) "My son should play "that" position on your football team coach! He's been training for it all summer". What I wish I could say: Whatever yo! he's 9 and doesn't know is left from his right, and what's he been training for? This aint the NFL, let the kid be a kid and "Play" football. What I really say: "Well, we'll see what we can do"
4) "Dad can I have a cell phone" What I wish I could say: Kid can you read yet? worry about chores and home work then when you grow some I'll let you know... What I really say: see above (I got my wish:)
3) "I killed JonBenet"... What I wish I could say: Really? Were you on a grassy knoll with a government agent too, surrounded by aliens? What I really would say: "Finally we can get this stupid news story over"
2) "We are the best team you'll play this whole year" What I wish I could say: Wow! You are that great? How do you know? What is the point of telling me this? You can't even name all of your players yet and you are "the best"? whatever bro...right back at ya slick~! What I really say: "Wow! You guys must be really good, I hope we can just play well against you"
1) "I already told you that". What I wish I could say: Would I freakin' be asking if I had this answer? Why don't you be polite and just call me stupid like I want to call you! Tell me again then you fat liar. I'll let you get away with that once, but next time you better produce an email or a written message where you told me because a past conversation is only "hear say". What I really say: "will you please tell me again, I must of forgot".
Peace! Stupid people are stupid
5) "My son should play "that" position on your football team coach! He's been training for it all summer". What I wish I could say: Whatever yo! he's 9 and doesn't know is left from his right, and what's he been training for? This aint the NFL, let the kid be a kid and "Play" football. What I really say: "Well, we'll see what we can do"
4) "Dad can I have a cell phone" What I wish I could say: Kid can you read yet? worry about chores and home work then when you grow some I'll let you know... What I really say: see above (I got my wish:)
3) "I killed JonBenet"... What I wish I could say: Really? Were you on a grassy knoll with a government agent too, surrounded by aliens? What I really would say: "Finally we can get this stupid news story over"
2) "We are the best team you'll play this whole year" What I wish I could say: Wow! You are that great? How do you know? What is the point of telling me this? You can't even name all of your players yet and you are "the best"? whatever bro...right back at ya slick~! What I really say: "Wow! You guys must be really good, I hope we can just play well against you"
1) "I already told you that". What I wish I could say: Would I freakin' be asking if I had this answer? Why don't you be polite and just call me stupid like I want to call you! Tell me again then you fat liar. I'll let you get away with that once, but next time you better produce an email or a written message where you told me because a past conversation is only "hear say". What I really say: "will you please tell me again, I must of forgot".
Peace! Stupid people are stupid
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Thoughts for today
Here are some random observations that are useless except to me. I think that I'm feeling a lot better about other people lately. Generally I've had mostly good experiences with human kind of late. I can't think when that last time someone tried to "get" me. I wonder if I'm just not paying attention. I also have found that more people seem to be like me lately. Basic "work-a-day" folks that only want to get home and veg in front of TV or a book or something, waiting for that vacation or whatever. The trick is to find a something each day that you can look forward to, then appreciate it and blog about it. Here's mine. Also a tip that will help you now... I had a good weekend because it was my 15th wedding anniversary and my wife didn't get me anything. I can ride that guilt for about a year. I got her two things. :) I am a genius. Do you want to know the secret to a happy marriage? I know of two. I'm sure there are more... Here they are. Even though I shouldn't document them because my wife is probably the only one that reads this blog and now she'll know that I have secrets, but despite that chance... #1 Memorize this phrase and use it: "I'm Sorry, I know I'm an Idiot and I'll try to do better" and #2 Pick something that is "traditionally" not your job and do it always (back off femi-nazi). Make it your job. I mean own it, don't ever let her do it. Mine's Sunday dinner. Sunday dinner in our culture is usually the wife's thing, but in our house it's mine. Has been for a long time now. If she wants to help fine, but I still made the meal. It sure is a lot harder to whine about a meal, especially a big meal like that, when you make it. They've been exceptional lately. Once in a while I have had to humble up a bit and ask her advice . But this is a bonus too. Why? Because she now thinks that she is helping me and so she feels important but doesn't feel that she is being "tasked". These are my only two secrets for married dudes. I'll think of more and try them out on my unsuspecting wife and let you know how it goes. You fictional reader...
Later!
Later!
Monday, July 31, 2006
Fact or Fiction
You Decide
1) If you lend money to someone and then they pay you back who says thank you? I think you shoud. It is way easier to lend money then it is to get it back. Fact or fiction?
2) When I ask my wife out on a date, she should say yes, then discuss schedules and the kids not the other way around. Fact or fiction?
3) When you go to church and no one says hello to you it is your fault for not saying hello to anyone. Fact or fiction?
4) If your coworker takes a day off of work you resent them. If you play golf and its crowded you resent everyone out there in your way. When you go to a new hot store you hate everyone else there that makes the new store busy. People only become annoyed or frustrated with others when they see things that they them selves do, whant to do or have done. Fact or fiction?
5) Familys are more fun in the long run, but in the short run they are way less fun then friends. Fact or fiction?
Post back if you want to argue!
1) If you lend money to someone and then they pay you back who says thank you? I think you shoud. It is way easier to lend money then it is to get it back. Fact or fiction?
2) When I ask my wife out on a date, she should say yes, then discuss schedules and the kids not the other way around. Fact or fiction?
3) When you go to church and no one says hello to you it is your fault for not saying hello to anyone. Fact or fiction?
4) If your coworker takes a day off of work you resent them. If you play golf and its crowded you resent everyone out there in your way. When you go to a new hot store you hate everyone else there that makes the new store busy. People only become annoyed or frustrated with others when they see things that they them selves do, whant to do or have done. Fact or fiction?
5) Familys are more fun in the long run, but in the short run they are way less fun then friends. Fact or fiction?
Post back if you want to argue!
Monday, July 24, 2006
Dumber then ever
Brilliant thoughts for today
1) I took 3 days off and played golf seemingly a smart thing. The average tempeture for the three days in the phx area was 115 degrees. Nice job on the vaca choice
2) Work is so dumb. I work well with others but they don't work well with me.
3) Working in IT these days is like walking up a down escalator. You work really hard but you don't get anywhere. Your effort is great, and rewards are few. Once in a while there is a dude at the top that shoves you and replaces you with two overseas people that cost less. But those two dudes are doing the same thing, running up a down escalator.
4) If Brazil and Argentina start fighting will the US jump in? Or is it only if they have nukes or OIL. Goodness let's just stay out of every freakin' country in the world. Why do we care so much? Why don't I care so much? I think we should protect our interests and out citizens, but why do we have to protect everyone else? Pretty soon every country will be at war with us.
5) Just wondering: is talk radio crack for your mind? I don't think it plays a part in common peoples lives. do you ever wonder what people who call these stations do for a living? At least on Jim Rome's jungle program he calls his callers "Jobless". If I was a talk show host I wouldn't take calls. I would say " You guys are all wrong anyway, so you will LISTEN TO ME". You can't do that I guess so that's why I blog!
Peace out!
1) I took 3 days off and played golf seemingly a smart thing. The average tempeture for the three days in the phx area was 115 degrees. Nice job on the vaca choice
2) Work is so dumb. I work well with others but they don't work well with me.
3) Working in IT these days is like walking up a down escalator. You work really hard but you don't get anywhere. Your effort is great, and rewards are few. Once in a while there is a dude at the top that shoves you and replaces you with two overseas people that cost less. But those two dudes are doing the same thing, running up a down escalator.
4) If Brazil and Argentina start fighting will the US jump in? Or is it only if they have nukes or OIL. Goodness let's just stay out of every freakin' country in the world. Why do we care so much? Why don't I care so much? I think we should protect our interests and out citizens, but why do we have to protect everyone else? Pretty soon every country will be at war with us.
5) Just wondering: is talk radio crack for your mind? I don't think it plays a part in common peoples lives. do you ever wonder what people who call these stations do for a living? At least on Jim Rome's jungle program he calls his callers "Jobless". If I was a talk show host I wouldn't take calls. I would say " You guys are all wrong anyway, so you will LISTEN TO ME". You can't do that I guess so that's why I blog!
Peace out!
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Golf
Well it's been a while but here goes. I'm a little relaxed today. You see I've played 36 holes of golf in the last 36 hours. Yes It's very cool. I took some vacation off of work because I wanted to so I played golf. It is also the British open this weekend, so in keeping with my theme so far here are the top five facts about golf and why it is a very strange game when normal people play.
1) Anyone can play and wear things that they would never wear any where else. Right Bill?
2) It's 112 outside in Phoenix and we play anyway. Golf makes me dumb like that. Normal people play, in 112 degrees, haven't played in 9 months and miss a 30 foot putt we get all mad like we were expecting play better and think we are the best players on earth.
3) There are three types of golf courses. They can easily be seperated into groups 1st group: professional-Golf carts only, must have a dress codes, small things like tees and course books are free. Tips are also part of the deal. 2nd group: semi-pro - Think they are pros but aren't get mad at you if you forget the dress code, think they are better then you because their job is to work at this golf course. 3rd group Amatures-Usually city course. Reasonably priced, course is messed up, any one can play. Shirts are barely required.
4) Golf is the only game that makes people who don't swear, swear. You can hear it every time you play.
5) Golf is also the only game that lots of people play but hate everyone else that plays too. I call this the Tiger Woods effect. Since el Tigre started playing every dude in the US thinks that he should play too. I think people should be banned from golf courses unless you pass the etiquite test, are 30 years old and can name 5 golfers that won majors before Tiger was born. Of course then I'd play alone. I can dream Right?
See ya!
1) Anyone can play and wear things that they would never wear any where else. Right Bill?
2) It's 112 outside in Phoenix and we play anyway. Golf makes me dumb like that. Normal people play, in 112 degrees, haven't played in 9 months and miss a 30 foot putt we get all mad like we were expecting play better and think we are the best players on earth.
3) There are three types of golf courses. They can easily be seperated into groups 1st group: professional-Golf carts only, must have a dress codes, small things like tees and course books are free. Tips are also part of the deal. 2nd group: semi-pro - Think they are pros but aren't get mad at you if you forget the dress code, think they are better then you because their job is to work at this golf course. 3rd group Amatures-Usually city course. Reasonably priced, course is messed up, any one can play. Shirts are barely required.
4) Golf is the only game that makes people who don't swear, swear. You can hear it every time you play.
5) Golf is also the only game that lots of people play but hate everyone else that plays too. I call this the Tiger Woods effect. Since el Tigre started playing every dude in the US thinks that he should play too. I think people should be banned from golf courses unless you pass the etiquite test, are 30 years old and can name 5 golfers that won majors before Tiger was born. Of course then I'd play alone. I can dream Right?
See ya!
Friday, July 07, 2006
5 FACTS FOR TODAY
Well here's my next five facts. I know I'm a theme person! Let's go~!
1) My swiming pool attacts people under the age of 10. Not hot girls like on beer comercials
2) If it's 110 outside in Arizona why is the pool still cold... And when I get out of the pool I'm cold. Stupid. It's refreshing though.
3) Working from home by a pool is not as hard as everyone makes it out to be. Going swiming is way more work then it was as a kid. I don't like wet underwear.
4) What do you mean salt pools hurt your eyes! Get over it you whimp, or swim at your own pool!
5) Neighbors who bring their kids over to swim, wear a swimming suit but don't swim deserve to be pushed in. Watch out J!
1) My swiming pool attacts people under the age of 10. Not hot girls like on beer comercials
2) If it's 110 outside in Arizona why is the pool still cold... And when I get out of the pool I'm cold. Stupid. It's refreshing though.
3) Working from home by a pool is not as hard as everyone makes it out to be. Going swiming is way more work then it was as a kid. I don't like wet underwear.
4) What do you mean salt pools hurt your eyes! Get over it you whimp, or swim at your own pool!
5) Neighbors who bring their kids over to swim, wear a swimming suit but don't swim deserve to be pushed in. Watch out J!
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
AZ Ben J
Well its been a year. I still don't get the addiction of blogging. I tried it. I tried to be trendy and cool and have a blog that no one reads like everyone else, but it just wasn't that fun. I don't know, maybe its just I have nothing profound to say. I have thought of some cool ideas. One is that I can kind of make this a journal You know like "Dear Diary" and tell no one all of my darkest and scariest secrets. But that wouldn't really work because I don't have that many secrets that are "secret" anyway. My other idea is to do my "top ten" Ben Johnson Opinions each week. But I'm not smart enough for top 10, so I'm only doing five! I like this idea better. So here goes...
1) Mark Cuban is the dumbest genius ever. He may seem all dark and bruding but really he's just a nerd in a cool jocks world trying to buy love from the cool kids he never got back in high school... I promise some of those players would love to give him a swirly.
2) Scoop Jackson is the best NBA writer on the planet. He's great and always interesting. His writing does come accross to me as racist everytime I read it. I can't believe that he is a racist but that he just feels like everyone (white) is so he should be to... I never miss an article.
3) ESPN is only about money. They don't care about anything else just like everyother network. My gosh listen to ESPN radio for five minutes and you'll find out. You'll get five comercials without one comercial break. "The mike and mike just shutup award sponsored by McDonalds, and on the "ONSTAR" Hotline is Joe Blow presented by AT&T .... and so it goes. It's sickning, but yet I listen...hmmm
4) College Basketball is the best spectator sport. NBA doesn't matter until June and the last five minutes of each game, NFL doesn't matter until 2nd half of the season, College football doesn't include everyone, because there is not mid-major ever making the championship (Ask Utah). But College basketball rules becuase everyone is included and every basket counts
5) Local Sports radio is way better then national sports Radio. We are spoiled here in PHX because we have a good station, but others may not. It's way better to hear about your local teams and players rather then listen to the top two or three teams / programs every day on a national level.
1) Mark Cuban is the dumbest genius ever. He may seem all dark and bruding but really he's just a nerd in a cool jocks world trying to buy love from the cool kids he never got back in high school... I promise some of those players would love to give him a swirly.
2) Scoop Jackson is the best NBA writer on the planet. He's great and always interesting. His writing does come accross to me as racist everytime I read it. I can't believe that he is a racist but that he just feels like everyone (white) is so he should be to... I never miss an article.
3) ESPN is only about money. They don't care about anything else just like everyother network. My gosh listen to ESPN radio for five minutes and you'll find out. You'll get five comercials without one comercial break. "The mike and mike just shutup award sponsored by McDonalds, and on the "ONSTAR" Hotline is Joe Blow presented by AT&T .... and so it goes. It's sickning, but yet I listen...hmmm
4) College Basketball is the best spectator sport. NBA doesn't matter until June and the last five minutes of each game, NFL doesn't matter until 2nd half of the season, College football doesn't include everyone, because there is not mid-major ever making the championship (Ask Utah). But College basketball rules becuase everyone is included and every basket counts
5) Local Sports radio is way better then national sports Radio. We are spoiled here in PHX because we have a good station, but others may not. It's way better to hear about your local teams and players rather then listen to the top two or three teams / programs every day on a national level.
Friday, July 22, 2005
Where am I?
These days I'm never sure if I'm here or there. My goodness. My kids are busy as ever, my wife is always busy and I'm always busy but mundanely bored. I'm at work or home or on the freeway in between. I can't find anything to sink my teeth into lately. Church is good and I do my best to keep involved and "Ardent". But I don't know if it is enough. Do you ever just look at the dark ceiling in the bed and say "where am I?" I do. I don't know why. I can't think of an alternative that sounds any better. I'm sure that there isn't one. Sure a $1M would change that perspective, but even then I'm unsure I wouldn't just beg to get back to where I'm at now. I wonder if looking at other people and seeing what they are up to is healthy. I try not to compare my life to others' because they are just about the same as me. I've decided that I've go it good, but that doesn't mean that every moment is "bliss". But shouldn't it be less boring. I think life is good enough. I used to say all the time "I can't wait until... (enter an event)." But now there is nothing down the pipe for me to wish my life away for. Young middle age to late middle age is weird. I think we all just watch the clock at work and hope for some fun once in a while. I'm thinking that everyone has bored times. I also think that everyone has once, seriously or otherwise, considered suicide. I think that people who say they haven't at least let that thought cross their mind for a brief second, even quickly discarded, is a liar. I think begin bored is the same way. My in-laws said they haven't been bored for years. Yeah, what about that 2 hours you spend in the car a day. That's freakin' boring. Admit it, its boredom. I'm not talking misery, I just mean that I'm looking at the ceiling at night thinking what am I benefiting myself or anyone else by existing. I know the kids look up to me and the wife tolerates me, so I'm OK, but past that I'm unclear. I don't wonder about this stuff every night, but some nights. That's all. Analyze your life and let me know if you happen to stumble on this blog. I don't want answers just comfort in numbers. The answers don't exist anyway...
Monday, March 07, 2005
UA / ASU Hoops
I'm a diehard UA fan. I love UofA everything. I like their color scheme, their teams even football. I don't watch every game but when I do I love it. I love it that they beat ASU on Saturday. I don't care much for how close it was but I love it that its over and the good guys won. However I know Salim traveled on that game winner. Duh! If every call was called correctly through out the whole game the result would be the same. It evens out in the couse of one game I figure. I know that teams get snakebit by calls sometimes, but they are just looking at one call. I also know that refs aren't 100% even all of the time, so sometimes teams have a beef. However, ASU doesn't this time. There were plenty of other things to point at. Ike got lots of calls that he didn't deserve just like Salim did on the last one. Coach O said that he likes Ike because he is "the same thoughout the entire game". He isn't emotional. That sometimes is a problem I think. Name one great player in NBA history that wasn't emotional. Danny Manning was a great college player. In the NBA he seemed like he didn't care. Ike wants to go to the NBA doesn't he. He better perk up a bit. Ike may end up being the PAC-10 version of Danny Manning without the ring. Great player that no one can remember.
AZ Ben J hits the cyber highway
Hi, This is my first attempt at a blog. I'm sure it won't last. I'm sure that no one will read it and I'll be like a cyber smudge. But I don't care. I'm the one doing it and so I'm sure that I'm the only one enjoying it. I'm just an average American that likes to think that he is smart and handsome, but probably is neither. I like my kids, my wife and enjoy my job. I like the outdoors when it isn't too hot or cold and enjoy a game of golf when there is no wind and someone else paid for it. Kind of like everyone else I'd imagine.
I hope to use this blog as a way to write my thoughts on everything. I've always been taught to keep a journal or a history of myself, but never did. Didn't see the point really. I guess now I can write a journal and have the grand illusion that someone is reading it. In a book that I hide from everyone doesn't seem to be that helpful. Now at least I can pretend that someone is reading it. I wonder sometimes if only famous people use Blogs to become more famous or to show that they are real people. I'm sure most bloggers though are like me and just write because they think that something they have to say is important to someone else. I doubt anything I say is important to anyone, but I'm sure that I'm going to think it is brilliant. I hope to comment on sports, and family life mostly.
As an introduction I'm 35 years old, Mormon, live in AZ and love my family. I'm devoted to my wife and my religion endlessly and never could picture a day when I wasn't. So obviously my opinions are going to be slanted to a more conservative nature. I don't want any debaters or people who want to talk religion with me. I'm going to ignore it. What I've found out through my experience is that most people are trap setters when it comes to religious discussions. They are more interested in being negative then positive about the subject. They'd rather see someone give up their religion then embrace one. Most folks believe in something but would rather that others didn't believe something else. It's very confusing to me why there are "anti-Mormons" or "anti-Catholics" or Anti anything. What's the point? Are they saving people or just making themselves feel better for not having the backbone to stick to something? Being religious isn't easy in 21st century America. Most people either aren't or pretend not to be. It's like they are embarrassed by it. Why? Believe what you want, who cares what others do? I've heard all of the criticisms of Mormons. Most are by people that have no clue what they are talking about. In fact most people when pressed will say that they heard it from a preacher or someone like that. Why would a minister from one religion talk bad or otherwise about another religion? Just talk about your own and its good qualities and your beliefs. Whatever.
I hope to write once a week. I hope to be able to comment with some intelligence (not likely) about subjects as they happen to me. I'll tell you, fictitious reader, about my life and my learning moments and my mistakes. I hope that I enjoy writing more then ever before. I once aspired to write a book about how to be a parent. I gave up after my son ran around the church chapel during services like a wild animal and embarrassed me to death. So I don't profess to be a professional writer but rather profess to be a blogger. See ya.
I hope to use this blog as a way to write my thoughts on everything. I've always been taught to keep a journal or a history of myself, but never did. Didn't see the point really. I guess now I can write a journal and have the grand illusion that someone is reading it. In a book that I hide from everyone doesn't seem to be that helpful. Now at least I can pretend that someone is reading it. I wonder sometimes if only famous people use Blogs to become more famous or to show that they are real people. I'm sure most bloggers though are like me and just write because they think that something they have to say is important to someone else. I doubt anything I say is important to anyone, but I'm sure that I'm going to think it is brilliant. I hope to comment on sports, and family life mostly.
As an introduction I'm 35 years old, Mormon, live in AZ and love my family. I'm devoted to my wife and my religion endlessly and never could picture a day when I wasn't. So obviously my opinions are going to be slanted to a more conservative nature. I don't want any debaters or people who want to talk religion with me. I'm going to ignore it. What I've found out through my experience is that most people are trap setters when it comes to religious discussions. They are more interested in being negative then positive about the subject. They'd rather see someone give up their religion then embrace one. Most folks believe in something but would rather that others didn't believe something else. It's very confusing to me why there are "anti-Mormons" or "anti-Catholics" or Anti anything. What's the point? Are they saving people or just making themselves feel better for not having the backbone to stick to something? Being religious isn't easy in 21st century America. Most people either aren't or pretend not to be. It's like they are embarrassed by it. Why? Believe what you want, who cares what others do? I've heard all of the criticisms of Mormons. Most are by people that have no clue what they are talking about. In fact most people when pressed will say that they heard it from a preacher or someone like that. Why would a minister from one religion talk bad or otherwise about another religion? Just talk about your own and its good qualities and your beliefs. Whatever.
I hope to write once a week. I hope to be able to comment with some intelligence (not likely) about subjects as they happen to me. I'll tell you, fictitious reader, about my life and my learning moments and my mistakes. I hope that I enjoy writing more then ever before. I once aspired to write a book about how to be a parent. I gave up after my son ran around the church chapel during services like a wild animal and embarrassed me to death. So I don't profess to be a professional writer but rather profess to be a blogger. See ya.
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