PREACHY: So don't read if you don't want to be preached to (You've been warned)

Mormon Gossip is the funniest. I guess if you take any small slice of society you can find their curlture or their gossip to be humorous to another small segmant of society. Like if you look at mormons we don't really gossip about who's having affairs with other people (a la Desperate Houswives) or how much money people make we gossip about who's gonna be the next Bishop or who's pregnant with the 8th kid or who is moving or who is speaking in church on Sunday "and are they really a good choice?" I had to laugh becuase I wonder if you dropped a non-member (meaning a person not of the LDS faith) into a LDS gossipy conversation what would think:
Member 1: So did you hear that the Bishop is moving?
Member 2: No, he is?
Member 1: Yeah, like in a month
Member 2: Wow, I wonder who will be the next Bishop? (always first thought/question)
(not "where are they moving?", not "Why are the moving?")
Non-Member: What's a Bishop?

It's not bad. I'm not condemming it. Don't get me wrong I'm as guilty as anyone. I just got a different perspective lately and felt like commenting on it. In fact I'm pretty sure that everyone tries to guess who will be the next whatever in the church becuase it is a mystry to us. In reality it doesn't matter who we think should be or will be becuase The Lord chooses who he will and we are left to pray for a testimony about the truthfulness of their calling. I've been dead wrong on some of my "guesses" and right on on some of them in my life. But you know what? It didn't matter because its the person what who the Lord Called not who I guessed (or even secretly wanted).

Now there are some bad gossip in the church that we should stay away from. Like if somebody blesses the sacrament or something and you comment later about their worthiness. This is wrong. This can lead to some major hurt feelings. Also it is a sin. I'll tell you my opinion on this. If I bless the sacrament unworthily does it make the ordinance invalid? NO. It does bring condemnation to me, but not to those that partake of the sacrament on that particular day. So as we've been counciled many times ("let he who's without sin cast the first stone" "Remove the pillar from thine own eye..." and "Judge not lest you be judged by the same judgement...") What do you Care? I mean really are you trying to make yourself feel better by pointing out someone elses sins? Are you trying to condemn someone? Now ok maybe .01% of the time when WE do this (caps becuase I'm a guilty sinner too) we are really trying to help the person becuase we love them, but I don't think that is often the case.

Gossip is like when we have a good joke to tell. You are so excited to tell it. You practice it in your head, you may even tell one person just to kind of test drive the joke. Then when you tell it to a big group and they laugh really loud and long you feel so proud. Like everyone must really like "me" because of that great joke. When in reality it may be just a good joke and you are just the messenger. What if no one laughs (i know this all too well), and your joke bombs. Well you feel embarrassed and dumb and very disapointed. But really it has nothing to do with you, you are just a messenger and its that joke that is bad. Now you may have wished you hadn't told it, but it doesn't make you bad. Gossip is like that but where it does make you bad. Meaning that the story that you told really does reflect on you. The story may be true and it may be really good story but it's still gossip and its really going to reflect on your character.

I think a good rule is to ask yourself these questions:
1. Would I tell this story in front of the person(s) it is about? (NO)
2. Wouldn't it be better if the person that this is about got to tell the story instead of me? (YES)
3. Can anyone have their feelings hurt by me telling this story? (YES)
4. Am I telling this story because I'm trying to make myself look better? (YES)
5. Does the person(s) I'm telling the story to need to know this information? (NO)

If the answer to the questions are what I put in the parentasis then you should stop. Really just stop. I know once I was telling a story about someone that I shouldn't have. About half way through I realized it and felt terrible. I stopped and "pretended" I couldn't rememeber it. I should have said "this is really gossip so I should stop" but I didn't. It's something that is a hard one to overcome. The key is really #4 question above. We really have to be honest with ourselves as to why we want to tell the story or the info. It's so hard to be honest about that one, because we don't want to admit to ourselves our own selfish desire to be liked or to feel important.

Remember I'm not judging, condemning or referring to anyone. I didn't have a experiance recently or have a particular issue in mind that inspired this blog entry. Just sometimes I want to preach (why? idk) and this is my outlet. So if you are offended or concerned about my preaching then accept my apology and delete my blog from your favorites (bookmarks, does anyone use that term anymore?) and surf away.